Susan Cain’s ‘Bettersweet’ Finds the Smells of Sadness

Have you ever wondered why we love sad songs, or are we tired of the “thank you, mom” Olympics commercial? There were questions such as Susan Cain’s new book, “Bettersweet: How Grief and Desire Make Us Full.”

“Candy is the hidden source of our moon shots, masterpieces, and love stories,” writes Ms. Keane, who believes that we truly experience the conditions of our love, joy, fear, and imagination all the more because Life is impossible, not despite the fact. At the heart of this quest is the naming and reordering of its titular paradox: no one is more bitter than fish.

“Bittersweet”, which is partially memorable and partly a look at neuroscience, psychology, spirituality, religion, epigenetics, music, poetry and art, makes a case for “astonishing pleasures on the beauty of the world.” Extremely pyramidal. The purpose of the book is to illustrate that an unbearable tone in our cat evolves by looking at the image of our high school graduate.

“The sadness from which compassion arises is a pro-social passion, a representative of relationships and love,” she writes. And this is a physical sign and explanation in the “despair of happiness.”

It turns out, Ms. Keane writes, that the vagus nerve – the nerve coil that connects the brain stem to the cat and abdomen and is responsible for digestion, breathing, and heart rate – is also associated with compassion in the face of sadness. , The desire to experience our passion and happiness for the protection of our youth.

Appropriately, the oldest, most natural part of our nervous system, which indicates that we had the necessary empathy to respond to our developing newborn children, Ms. Keen points out, is also very sad. -Happiness-is the site of the continuity of survival that makes us. Human being

Ms. Quinn, who is also the author of “Chip: The Power of Interviews in a World That Can’t Stop,” discussed the importance of grief in the editorial interview below and more.

What do you want people to understand about being open or celebrating emotions like sadness and desire?

SC: We would love to understand that one of the most fundamental aspects of being human is the desire to live in a more fulfilling and beautiful world in which we currently live. Sometimes this is explicitly expressed in religious terms, such as for Mecca or Zune, or for Eden, or as Sufis have described it, which is my favorite, “the desire for the love of the Spirit.”

But it is also in those moments when we see a beautiful waterfall or a painting that is so beautiful that it makes us cry. It is a spiritual continuation that we have. What we are really seeing is an expression of the more perfect and beautiful world we feel where we have come from and we need to go back.

Tell us a little bit about the importance of “desire”, how it has been misunderstood in modern times, and “oppression of hope” in relation to culture.

SC: In our culture, you say the word “wish” and you think “wish to die” or “wish to visit”, but it’s not as if it has been historically understood. In “The Odyssey,” Odysseus was caught by a homelessness and that was what made him miss out on his journey.

This is what takes you to God, to creation. I don’t think we have to differentiate between God and creativity and compassion and all those things. They are all manifestations of one basic human condition.

If you had published this book before the epidemic, do you think there would be different levels of reception?

SC: When I gave my TED Talk on bittersweetness in the summer of 2019, it was interesting to talk about grief, desire, and bitterness as the very act of depression, as opposed to the obvious view of life. is the.

The fact that all human beings have to pass through it together is one of the deepest sources of our communication and one of the deepest sources of our art and beauty. I think it was very difficult for the audience today to understand at that time. I suppose if I were to give it today, it would be different.

You make the big difference between depression and depression. How do you explain the difference?

SC: I’m a bit frustrated by nature, but I consider myself happy. I’m not really sad in the clinical sense of the term.

This is really interesting because there is a long tradition that talks about centuries of sadness and its mysterious virtues – more than 2,000 years ago Aristotle was asking why this is why so many great poets and philosophers and politicians. Has a frustrating personality. Depression and depression are two separate states, but usually no difference is made.

What areas of psychology are pushing this trend to pathologizing frustration?

SC: A psychologist, Dacher Keltner, whom I have written about in the book, has done important work on what he calls “compassionate compassion,” and has pointed out that the word “compassion” means suffering together. General Chat Chat Lounge So what you are doing when you are feeling compassionate is actually experiencing this grief of others.

When we think of human nature, we often go to the idea of ​​survival of the fittest with either disappointment or despair, but Dr. Keltner says that we are in fact about the highest kind of survival. So to speak, because as humans, is the only way to survive. Our children are able to respond to crying. What has emerged out there is that we do not just respond to our children’s crying, we react to other people’s small children and then we usually react to other humans in distress. The action takes place.

By listening to bittersweet, minor-key music, can you primer for “the bittersweet mind-set” and the nuances of life?

SC: Yes, of course. In fact, it was actually the catalyst that inspired me to start writing this book. I would technically sing sad songs, but instead I felt a sense of communication with other people, who also knew that the grief that the music was expressing. And for the composer to be able to translate it with this incredible sense of fear and gratitude that was clearly born into pain and transform it into beauty. It’s like my church when I play that music. My playlist is on Spotify, actually.

What are your “quick pads” processes?

SC: Meditation is something that I practice on and off, with the mind. But I’m also really interested in finding any experiences that make me feel more connected to the state of love. Here’s another exercise I started over the last year or so after the epidemic came out.

During the onset of the epidemic, I got into the habit of scrolling dom on Twitter. The first thing to do was get up early in the morning. I decided it was really unhealthy. I was thinking of the Roman poem, in which he describes how we wake up in the morning, empty and intimidated, and instead of going straight to his studies, let us down to the musical instrument and let the beauty do what we want. Can do

So I decided to start my morning with beauty instead. I asked people on Twitter to recommend their favorite art accounts and I started following them. and now My food Filled with art. Before I do anything else, I take the time to relate the art to my favorite poem or idea I have been thinking about or about. It’s a daily exercise that I love.

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